The Cinema File #280: "Frozen" Review

If there was ever a more misleading advertising campaign than the one that preceded the new Disney animated feature Frozen, I can't remember one. A long stalled project beginning as a traditional 2D cartoon until it was retooled into 3D a la Tangled, Frozen at first sounded like it might be something really great considering how much time and effort was being put into its production (fun fact: Disney's been trying to make a movie based on The Snow Queen since the 1940s!). That is, it had potential until the first trailers hit, and audiences were treated to a wacky ice skating short focusing on a comic relief snowman and a silly moose. Oh how the hopes of every animation aficionado were instantly dashed, my own included. And yet, far from the painful stupidity of those early teasers, Frozen instead proves to be easily the best animated film of 2013, and were it not for last year's Wreck It Ralph might even qualify as the best non-Pixar example of Disney animation since the 90's renaissance.

Stop Or My Mom Will Podcast Presents: The Crypto Conspiracy - Part Four! Now Available!!

Hey gang, check out the latest episode of Stop Or My Mom Will Podcast Presents: The Crypto Conspiracy. Part Four: No More Curtain Hangers Ever! Listen as we discover the true secret behind the Kennedy Assassination and its nefarious connection to window treatments. Also, a cat that can predict death, when he isn't causing it with his filthy cat parasites. Enjoy.

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Stop Or My Mom Will Podcast - Episode Ten - Now Available!

Check out the next episode of my newest podcast Stop Or My Mom Will Podcast. Technically this is the non-conspiracy regular cast exclusive to the blog, as opposed to the one that also airs on Sepia Radio and is more conspiracy centric. That being said, its pretty much all Kennedy crap. Enjoy!

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Schlockbusted #7: "Return Of Swamp Thing" Review

This is more like it. After what has to be the most disappointing comic book adaptation of the pre-Marvel Cinematic era, the second and last entry in the Swamp Thing film series embraces the silliness of its premise of monster on monster action and at the same time manages to stay truer to the canon of the original source material that makes Swamp Thing such a great character in the first place. The original Swamp Thing was produced just before Alan Moore took charge of the character in print, rendering it incapable of capturing the insane awesomeness readers would eventually come to know as the plant god who once thought it was Alec Holland. Return of Swamp Thing was made much later, but still finds itself hamstrung by the previous film and unable to fully do the comic justice. Even so, it shows itself to be the far superior film in the first five minutes alone.

Schlockbusted #6: "Swamp Thing - The Movie" Review

A while back I took a shot at my first ever Let’s Play of a terrible NES game from my childhood based on the short-lived Swamp Thing cartoon. It didn’t go well, but it did inspire me to take a second look at the Swamp Thing movies that inspired the live action series that in turn inspired the cartoon which in turn in turn inspired the game. Okay, fuck it, I needed an excuse to talk about the Swamp Thing movies, and this was it. So sue me. And yes, I’m aware that I already have a section of this blog dedicated to retrospectives of obscure horror and sci-fi franchises, but my general rule for that is three or more films, and since I’m already three chapters into a five part Chucky review, this seemed like the better place for it. I was tempted to start a whole new section specifically for shitty comic book and videogame adaptations (even had a clever name for it – BADaptations), but as you can see by the Labels section to your right, this blog is already too cluttered with planned sections that have since become defunct or died on the vine. So here we go.

NEW PODCAST!: Saturday Night Jive, Episode One - Or So The Germans Would Have You Believe

Hey everybody. Check out the first episode of yet another new podcast, Saturday Night Jive, where I sit down with my uber SNL geek brother and pay tribute to the longest running sketch comedy show of all time. This week we discuss the most recent new episode featuring The Hunger Games' Josh Hutcherson and throaty bass faced musical guests HIME. We rage against recurring characters, lament the discrimination against featured players, adamantly defend the Charles Rocket year, play Stump The Geek, and give Norm MacDonald much love. Enjoy

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The Cinema File #279: "The Delivery Man" Review

Is there any kind of movie more unnecessary than an American remake of a modern foreign film? Even in the context of remakes in general, which typically at least allow a few decades to pass between reboots, these translations more often than not take recent movies and Americanize them under the premise that we as a country are so small minded that a story universal enough to appeal to a domestic audience would succeed but for all the kooky sounding foreigners in it. Are people really so averse to subtitles or the occasional odd cultural idiom, and even if they are, shouldn't that be something we're embarrassed about enough not to flaunt our willful ignorance with a remake? In this light we have The Delivery Man, a heartwarming family film all about togetherness and acts of goodwill towards men just in time for Thanksgiving that hits all the right notes of its nearly identical French language predecessor Starbuck, and while I can't say I wasn't entertained, my enjoyment only ultimately stemmed from the fact that I didn't see the original until the day after.