Monday, April 15, 2013

The Idiot Box: Game Of Thrones 3x03 - "Walk Of Punishment" Review

For me, Game Of Thrones is the ultimate binge show, with each season literally a novel in serialized form, best appreciated as a whole rather than as a series of installments. Ten years from now when we've finally done away with the outmoded model of weekly television, where whole series will be available all at once for every show, perhaps we will look back on this one as the prototype for how all TV will be then. Until that day, I've got to suffer through another hour by itself, where I have just enough time to settle in and start enjoying myself and becoming immersed into the world of Westeros before its over and I have to wait until next week to again become frustrated by this stupid schedule.




Walk Of Punishment advances some of the stories I'm interested in, and also has Theon Greyjoy in it for a while. Oh, and apparently Tyrion's squire has a magic cock that makes prostitutes give back gold. Yes, that's a fucking B or C plot of this episode, and if like me you've been a bit miffed by how Tyrion has been less prominent so far this season, this albeit very funny excursion is as pointless as his last two appearances. But, on the upside, we finally got rid of that annoying fat kid that was tagging along with Aria since last year. My only problem with his big farewell scene is that he actually gets to say goodbye, and wasn't brutally murdered in any of the many scenes in which that totally could have happened. Man I hated that fat kid.


Daenerys is still in Slaver's Bay, which the newly updated titles tell me is off the coast of the ridiculously named Gulf of Grief, and we get more of the comically vulgar slave master guy, who isn't as funny as the show seems to think he is, but seems to be setting himself up for a taste of dragon fire in his face, which can't happen soon enough as far as I'm concerned. When I saw the end of the first episode, I noted at the time how I barely remembered who Barristan Selmy was, and probably wouldn't have had it not been for the previously on segment, and now that he's officially part of the group, I find he adds very little and does not seem all that different from Jorah. Personally, I want Khal Drago back. Bring him back as a White Walker if you have to, I don't care, but the subplot with dragons and warlocks shouldn't be one of the boring ones, and so far, its really shaping up to be.


Speaking of White Walkers, we get another visit to the house of our favorite zombie serving, daughter raping skeevy guy from the first episode of season two. Don't recall his name, and really just want Samwell to stab him to death to get him back for the fat joke (and also to protect that one girl's baby, but mostly for the fat thing). I gather from the somewhat spoilery title of the next episode that the Nightwatch story thread is about to come to a head, and all indication seems to be that it will happen here, which only increases the chances that I might just get my wish.


I think this is the first time we actually get to see Riverrun and Lady Catelyn's side of the family outside of her crazy boobed sister, and without any context to work from as far as why I'm supposed to engage with these new characters, I found it all a little boring. I assume they play a greater part in things going forward, but their introduction holds none of the intrigue of the two strange siblings following Bran's group, or the creepy Invisible Misfit kid that is the only thing I find the least bit interesting about Theon's story. The main shock of the episode is what happens to Jaime, which I won't spoil if you haven't seen it, but it makes for a nice ending. Then again, its preceded by an obvious attempt to make the character more likable, and I really don't want to like this sister fucking, child crippling bastard.


I want to give an overall rating to this episode, but I'm hesitant to do so. It probably sounds like I didn't like it considering all the snark, but I'd say its probably on par with the previous two, if not slightly better (if only for lack of Sansa). Again, I'm going to have to come back to it at the end and judge the whole season as a block, rather than try to make a definitive statement about this one part. Not knowing where this is going, I can't really say what I did and didn't like, because I have no way of knowing whether certain threads I'm currently not liking will redeem themselves, or vice versa.

Well, I suppose I could just read the books, but fuck that noise.
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