Wednesday, January 9, 2013

From The Idea Hole: Crypto

Speaking of Bigfoot, I had this idea for a comic book, or possibly an animated series called Crypto a while back, but gave up on it mid-way through after I realized that it was too similar to a number of crytozoologically themed projects already available, including the cartoon The Secret Saturdays and the comics Proof and The Perhapanauts. Like these properties, the series would take as many examples of myths, urban legends, and conspiracy theories as possible and merge them together into a cohesive narrative.

The basic idea was a superhero team of cryptids, including a Sasquatch, secretly working for the government and tasked with protecting creatures like them that are willing to co-exist with humans, and capturing the ones that aren't. The group would be led by The Jersey Devil, an immortal human possessed by an equine demon, an anthropologist who allows his body to become host to the primordial El Chupacabra, a Native American warrioress able to shapeshift into a gigantic weather controlling Thunderbird, and Biggie, a 10 foot tall, six breasted alien princess from a planet of Bigfoots exiled to Earth after a rebellion, similar to the legends surrounding Anastasia Romanov. They would be supervised by the elderly Agent King, who would later be revealed to be a still living Elvis Presley, and on the first mission seen in the series they would recruit their fifth and final member, a British Batman-esque night time crimefighter posing as the long dead cryptid Spring Heeled Jack.

Their chief adversary would be Indrid Cold, an ex-agent who spliced his own DNA with several cryptid samples to make himself superhuman. He now leads a team of his own supernatural creatures with a complicated multi-step plan that would encompass the first season arc. His first goal, to use a Mongolian Death Worm to break into the government's underground cryptid sanctuary and abduct the Ozark Howler, a rare one of a kind beast who is the only one capable of naturally creating a sonic pulse known as the Brown Note, which in addition to causing anyone who hears it to poop their pants, also happens to open a vault co-owned by The Freemasons, The Babylonian Brothers, Opus Dei, The Men In Black, and The Military Industrial Complex that contains the last known sample of Vril. This rare metal is the only thing capable of magnetically summoning up the underwater lost civilizations of Atlantis, Mu, and Lemuria, which Cold wishes to raid for their advanced technology.

I mapped out several smaller arcs and incidental stories involving other cryptids, including super intelligent fat Tsuchinoko snakes, the Tanzanian sodomy demon Popobawa, and my own Ohio natives, the Loveland Frogmen. The most prominent second tier story would involve The Moth Man, a mysterious being tasked with standing vigil at history's greatest tragic events, who would come to form a symbiotic relationship with the perennial survivor Frank Tower for a possible spinoff, and create a minor crisis across time and space after a random encounter with a janitor from the USS Eldridge left unstuck in time after the Philadelphia Experiment. At some point, the team would be completely overhauled with the death of the Thunderbird, prompting The Jersey Devil to lose control over his demon and go evil, kill El Chupacabra, and break Spring Heeled Jack's legs.

The new team would be formed by an agent from another, previously unknown department, seemingly human, though later revealed to be a Blemmeyes, a legendary creature with no head, and a giant face on his chest, hiding his unique physiology via a robotic fake head on his shoulders. Along with Bigfoot and Spring Heeled Jack, now reliant on cybernetic leg braces to walk, he would recruit a new team of fresh faces including a rookie agent hiding her own unique physical condition, Vagina Dentata, Mr. Splitfoot, a living sonic wave responsible for encouraging the spiritualist movement of the 1800's, and Koschei the Deathless, a soul transmuting immortal Russian wizard. Their adventures would lean more towards myths and fantasies, battling Baba Yaga and other magical beings, often interacting with international arms of the agency exploring the folklore or other countries, most notably the Japanese office.

That's all I had in my notes anyway, except for a brief note about a flashback revealing the origins of the agency to a be joint operation between the United States government and P.T. Barnum to slay and mummify the Cardiff Giant.

Ah, esoterica, you know I love it. See ya next time.

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