The Cinema File #168: "The Guilt Trip" Review

I know I'm pretty late on this one, but I just watched The Guilt Trip, and I need to vent a little bit. Now, of course, you might be saying to yourself, “there was no way this snarky bastard was going to like this movie, so why is he even reviewing it in the first place?” And you'd be absolutely right. I didn't like this movie at all, and I didn't expect to either, not being a 50-something housewife or a gay baby boomer still weirdly obsessed with Barbara Streisand movies despite there never being a good one, and not being one of those insufferable people who think Seth Rogan's funny for some reason. This was not a movie meant for me, and it was as inaccessible to me as it possibly could have been. But I still watched it, and I can't unwatch it, so I might as well talk about it.

The Idiot Box: Doctor Who 7x11 - "The Crimson Horror" Review

Over the past few weeks, I've been harping on the fact that this current season of Doctor Who has seemed to suffer in quality in a way not yet seen in the relaunched series. At times I have been somewhat in awe of how bad some of these episodes have been, a feeling comparable to the same awe I once felt for how great it used to be. Take the subtle point where we realized the importance of the girl in the fireplace to the robots hunting her, or the tragic mistake of the nanogenes during the Blitz. All classic moments where everything came together so brilliantly that now in retrospect only serve to remind us how strange it is to see everything fall apart every week. The Crimson Horror did not leave me in awe one way or the other, neither being awful nor awesome in the end, and while that alone makes it one of the better installments this year, it also makes me very, very sad.

The Idiot Box: Hannibal 1x06 - "Entree" Review

A good friend of mine who spends much more time paying attention to these sorts of things than I do casually mentioned to me recently that this series is currently tanking in the ratings something fierce, enough that a second season is most certainly in doubt even with the network's incredibly low standards. Normally when I see a show that I like in danger of cancellation I react with some combination of sadness or anger, and yet for some reason this news did not effect me quite as much as I would have thought. Despite generally liking this last episode and really to some degree every episode so far, I've realized that the series as a whole has moved forward so little and so slowly that the lack of anything accomplished beyond the pilot has left me somewhat ambivalent as to the show's future, regardless of how compelling each individual installment might be.

The Cinema File #167: "Iron Man 3" Review

Though other movies made by other studios began the Superhero Movie thing long before, the first Iron Man movie is what really kickstarted what we now refer to as the Marvel Cinematic Universe, where Marvel and its parent company Disney decided to take a more disciplined approach to the shared universe of these classic characters. Now only a scant five years later, we've got what seems like the last in the Iron Man series to kick off Phase 2 of the larger Marvel saga, and while still generally entertaining, I think Iron Man 3 might be the beginning of the end for this whole trend, as both metal fatigue and superhero fatigue sets in.

The Cinema File #166: "Phil Spector" Review

Before the start of the recent HBO film Phil Spector, we get a somewhat accusatory title card advising us that this is not a movie "Based On A True Story" but rather one inspired by true events, without being a commentary on them or an attempt to depict them accurately. This opening only serves to highlight my general complaint with movies like this that try to ride the coattails of tabloid news stories with shameless dramatic re-enactments. They often don't feel true to life, but more than that, they never seem to ever say anything about what they're depicting, just rehashing everything we know about whatever the topic is in a concise and often exploitative manner. This newest one is no different, and while the presence of Pacino, Helen Mirren, and Jeffrey Tambor add a little bit of fun to the proceedings, I am ultimately just as apathetic with the results as I always am with this weird biopic subgenre.

This Is A Thing That Exists!: Ooga Booga

If you would like to hear my podcast exclusively about this awful movie, CLICK HERE!

I’ve already touched upon the work of Charles Band on this site a few times before, and featured his film The Haunted Dollhouse in a segment of This Is A Thing That Exists, a section of my blog I reserve for movies so strange that they have to be seen to be believed. I hesitate to talk about the current film Ooga Booga in the same way, because while it is definitely insane enough to qualify, it is not one that I would recommend seeing, even in order to confirm its existence. This movie is so unnecessarily, and I would guess intentionally bad that I have come to believe that Mr. Band at some point became aware of my past praise of his work, and out of some contrarian impulse decided to make a movie solely for the purpose of making me personally regret being a fan. I almost want to just let it go and go back to a simpler time when I could pretend that it was not the case, but as much as I do not wish it to be so, I must admit that this, is a thing…that exists.

This Is A Thing That Exists!: The Suicide Shop (aka Le Magasin Des Suicides)

Yeah, that's the stuff. Breathe it in people. This is what This Is A Thing That Exists! is all about. This series is meant for those special examples of strange pop culture awesome for which concepts like good and bad are ill-equipped to describe the sheer insanity therein. And have I got a treat for you today. It's an obscure French animated film from last year called The Suicide Shop, and it is simply glorious. Its a disturbing smorgasbord of dark comedy nihilism with all the bright colors and musical numbers you would expect from the cutest of kids movies. It is an epic modern day fable extolling the virtue of killing yourself, until we all learn the valuable lesson that living is better than dying. Because, you know, we totally needed a cartoon to teach that.